Parent of Pregnant Teen

She’s pregnant. You’re shocked.
Here are some guidelines to help you through this unexpected time of confusion and heartache.

Question: My pregnant daughter has her whole life still ahead of her. Would it be better for her to place her baby with a family through adoption, parent her baby or have an abortion?

Answer: Your daughter faces many options. Guide her as she considers:

Adoption

• How much do you and she actually know about how adoption works today?
• Would this option free her to continue the life she'd planned for herself?
• Have you considered the statistics which dramatically demonstrate the importance of a father in a child's life?
• Help her weigh the pros and cons.
• Adoption

Parenting the Child

• Will she move out and raise the child on her own?
• What are the financial implications?
• What role are you willing to take in the child's upbringing?
• Will she depend on you to help her raise the baby? (Explain that, as the mother, she is the parent.)
• Sort through your own feelings and only offer that with which you feel comfortable.
• Marriage
• Is your daughter in love or simply trying to remedy the situation?
• Are they mature enough to bear the responsibilities of marriage and be effective parents?
• What are the long-term implications? Another mistake — divorce?
• Objectively and lovingly share your concerns. Then give her freedom to make the decision.
• Parenting

Abortion

• Refuse to worry about your family's reputation. It does not matter what other people may think when they see her pregnant.
• If you and your daughter believe — as the Bible clearly states — that life begins at conception, your faith and convictions will eliminate abortion as a "choice."
• Serve as a steady, rational voice when your daughter is tempted to overlook her beliefs.

Answered by Focus on the Family. Excerpted from How to Really Love Your Pregnant Teen by Focus on the Family. Copyright © 2001 Focus on the Family